O' Life

O life,

How precious a gift that has been entrusted to a fool such as me. Your immeasurable beauty and vast depth of magnificence are incomprehensible to the feeble minds of men, your value beyond the trinkets of the world.

So how can ypu blame me, o life, when I enclose you behind a locked cell, my worry your only companion. If i were He, who knows your fate holding it firmly beneath the hand of His sovereign rule, than i would not act so selfishly. Yet I am mortal, finite to His infinite greatness.

And so the embers of my desire for your prolonged existence catch wind and roar like a raging fire. Your laments fall upon deaf ears, for i shall not allow you freedom, my carelessness may consume you. "For love of thee" i cry to you, as i lock your door tight, my eyes to ashamed to meet yours.

My heart breaks, yet I must press forward. For there are great minds and thinkers of the world that tell me of countless ways to make you happy, and so like an eager disciple before their master, I listen intently. I pick and choose the concoctions of these vagabonds, these masters of the world and build for you a tray of wonderful foods. Yet as you eat, you become more frail and sick.

"Please listen, do you not love me" you moan. Oh how my vision blurs, my tears like geysers. so desperately do i wish to save you i cry, yet another soft voice whispers between the shadows of darkness.. "Bind her and gag her" passion says softly.

How beautiful she is, radiant beyond measure and words flowing like melted gold. though i long for your love, she speaks in such a way thst ignites the burning of a greater desire for comfort. Can you o life, speak such words as her? Can you make me feel alive in a way i forgot my troubles and fears of your demise?

Alas, she carries me, as a river stream through the mountains with ease to darker pits. For on hand she gives so freely, but on the other she melts her flesh to mine. With every step her tainted spirits takes refuge within the cinfines of mind and spirit. Soon i no longer care for you, only her sweet poison i persue.

But now, the fool i am, can see how deeply decirved I have becime..for she is not a woman of stature, but a common whore to all man. For one she gives pleasures of flesh, the other pleasures of mind and status. I weep and scream for her to leave but where can she go, for this body she manifested in has melted into mine, conjoined by our mutual desire for death of self.

It is only then..when the final images of my old self begin to fade, that memories of your imprisonment return to me, yet i am to late. to far gone to come to you cleanly. Will you accept my withered body? shall you rest near my filthy soul?

When hope finally torments me enough, the bright light of mercy descends from on high. He rest beside me. He sees passion for her wickedness, condems her and softly scolds my feeble mind for allowing the pig to be made beautiful.

Then, like a masterful surgeon he cuts precisely and with a patient elegance. bit by bit I can see my former self, scarred yet healed. Broken, yet restored.

Oh life, I see now, for He has cut me away, I run to you, not as the man i was, for i come with deep scars of my wickedness. yet i know of your love now in truth, for you will not turn away a wounded man returning. You open your arms, amd into your warm embrace do I fall once more.